Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! A: O'Hare. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Line: 192 On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. dickory? Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. Q: How do you get it? The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. A: Ben Gay. . (crowd cheers). stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer drip. A: The diamond lane. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. girlfriend. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. Q: What do people always say when Howard Cosell is on? A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. The character was introduced in 1964. QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. . We are now officially the living who envy the dead! knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. A: Over 15 billion served. your only sister. Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. sister. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. A: "The Dumplings." Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? A: 2001. Box 4, Folder 47. Q: What's a drink made with dry sack and prune juice? Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Zippo? Q: What do you use to fry a peter? Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. . doctors. Organized in groups of 10. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. A: Bedbug. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Q: Name two rams and a goat. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. Q: Name three people who like to bomb. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Shriver. . Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." . A: The big ten. . The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? The funny story above is a satire or parody. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. A: "The Front." Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. Line: 107 Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. A: Zippo Marx. plunger. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Paul? A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? . , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? A: Ultra-conservative. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." The Answer: Become a professional politician. . Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. A: Touchback. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. be sending Georgia soon? Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! A: 2001. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? on a country? However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. grenade? This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. Key'n'Stroke. Get Image May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. Kitchy-Kitchy? The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. . A: Superbowl. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, . BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? [1] I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. envelopes. May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. prune juice? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? 200 views, 3 upvotes. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. cleanup team? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. A: 60 Minutes. Description. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. ANSWER: Gatorade. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Johnny would don an . ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. A: Rat pack. car? ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Margaret's door? Q: What do crabs get high on? ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. Wheres the exit sign? A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . A: Old wive's tale. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? A: "Coming home." All the funny items on this website are fictitious. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. A: Pussy Willow. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. . So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. A: England, France and Greece. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? A: At both ends. The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. . Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. . A: Stick 'em up! contest. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". Return to Political Humor CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. . "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? a #2 mayonnaise A: Double hernia. . Sunday, 16 December 2018. [1] Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. A little hard to keep on. Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? station? , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? sister. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. juice? ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Function: require_once. Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Ed McMahon: Shogun. Click image to enlarge. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . Show"? the Denver Nuggets. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Box 4, Folder 46. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . A: Damnation Alley. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . the audience will cheer. . Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. A: Mr. Coffee. A: The Rock of Gibralter. Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. puppies and red-eye gravy. Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? A: Shake-N-Bake. , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. A: Natural gas. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . (croud cheers) #10. It is original material for the most part. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date.
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